


One more step

by kazuza



Series: Redemption [1]
Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Drama, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-12 03:36:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1181421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kazuza/pseuds/kazuza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the part 1of an AU serie called Redemption.<br/>Basically, Beecher died instead of Keller.  Holly comes to visit Chris. She's a deeply hurt teenager who  needs answers and Chris needs Beecher any way he can get him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One more step

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native english speaker so sorry about the weird writing, bad gramar and all lol  
> Any criticisms would be kindly accepted ^_^  
> Thanks for reading!

 

Chris is not surprise about the visit. All his ex still come to see him regularly even after all this years. 

Angelique of course, who collects men like shoes. Chris still is her favorite Jimmy Shoo, or so she says. 

Kitty too, because her sugar daddy is not against sharing. When Chris asked her about it, Kit said she thought that the old guy is getting his rock off knowing he fucks a girl who fucks a convict, a murder. Chris doesn't like to share himself, but he can understand the appeal. So it doesn't bother him at all really. Especially because the guy make her visits him without panties.

Even Bonnie who is now married and happy still comes every months to get her fix of him. The last time was a week ago. She said, Bill and her wanted a baby. 

 

_What kind of guy is called Bill this day? Stupid redneck no doubt. Stupid fuck is lucky I'm in prison._

 

If she wanted a baby so bad, if it was the solution to everything she should had tell him so. He would have put babies in her belly himself. No need stupid Bill for that. Sister Pete said he's not rational about this. That he should try to understand the need Bonnie has to make a life for herself, to start a family, to be happy. Even without him. But Chris knows better. How the fuckin' bastard who stole _his_ “ex”WIFE, the stupid redneck who wants to knock her up now, could be able to make Bonnie more happy than Chris had? Sure they had hurt each other, but Chris had loved every part of it, the good and the bad, and it's hard to understand why Bonnie doesn't feel the same way. Doesn't she see how much he loved her? 

 

_And still do Bonnie honey, forEVER. Because your MINE. And if this piece of shit you call your husband try ever again to forbid you to come see me... Guess what honey? Accident happen every FUCKIN day.  
_

 

There is other people too. Not friends. He never had a lot of them to begin with. He never really did close anyway.

 

_Except for you Toby. And look at what it did to me._

 

So not friends, but they don't have to know that right? And if there is one thing Chris really knows how to do, it's how to be superficially charming and friendly, to keep them interested. To keep them coming and being useful. He just _loves_ useful people.

So, someone is coming to see him? Not a surprise. 

 

_No sir._

 

Even unexpected. Angie always calls unannounced. A hot hellfire surprise every fucking time. They are so much alike, hot, hyper-sexual and manipulative. It's what had make the sex great between them but ultimately it was what had destroy their marriage early too. They were always fighting to be the spectacle, and in a couple, one must be willing to be the audience. Still, just thinking of her makes him hot and bothered.

He must had stop walking at some point because Mineo shoves him a little too hard in the room. And it's not the nice open visiting room.

 

_Not the girls then._

 

“Come on Keller, move on! We don't have all day!"

“Weeeeell, I do.”

“Very funny! Should I take you to the hole instead? I'm sure he misses you.”

Chris just shakes his head and smiles. He does not feels like starting an argument right now. He doesn't feel like anything this day anyway. Sister Pete talks about emotional detachment because of trauma. O'Reily says he's a sad, sick motherfucker. The others inmate from New Em City thinks he just lost it. “Crazy Keller” they call him behind his back. Not in front of him, ever. 

 

_Ya don't want to make the crazy angry, right boys?_

 

The truth is, Chris doesn't care what they all think. Life in prison is colorless and boring. He'd always knew that. But life without Toby... It's the Hell he was so scared of. 

Waking up every morning with lingering dream of Toby's finger on his skin, of tears and scream and ” I don't want you in my life Chris please, _please_ , let me go!” Walking his day like he's not really here. Seconds looking like hours and then, he's opening his eyes and it's already evening count. Beecher being everywhere, in the game of chess with O'Reily, in the drugs business they do together, taping next to him in Sister Pete office... Chris can't stand the laundry room anymore. His prags are eager to doing his shit anyway.

 

_See that Toby baby? I have prags. UN-willing one babe. Do you despise me even more now? S'alright, I'm used to it baby, but don't be jealous uh? You're still my favorite._

 

Yeah, hell on earth. Madness creeping in the dark corner of their pod like a childhood monster. Compare to that? The real Hell, the one he will go when his time will finally come, does not scare him that much anymore. 

Chris is eager to go. Maybe there, Beecher will come to visit him down there sometimes. When the purity of heaven will become too cold and he'd feel like getting a little dirty, looking for burning his pure white wings, just a bit on the edge. Chris will be there then. Ready to help him to alleviate the burden of his purity. Like he did on earth. His dick plump a little just by thinking about it.

"Hey, a little focus here?"

"Humhum."

"You takes them out the crib now Keller?"

"What'd'ya mean?"

Mineo just shrugs, silently saying, you'll see. A little spark of surprise ignite Chris interest as the hack push him inside the visiting booth and force him to sit down.

She's already there, sitting in the other side of the glass looking... Looking exactly like the pictures of her Chris received every week. His heart stops.

 

_Surprise..._

 

The strange feeling of not really being there right now spreading to him all over again. Like he's not sure what's happening is real. She doesn't seems to notice and takes the phone with a firm hand. 

 

_White, square little hand, just like ya baby._

 

Even through the glass, Chris can see she's not afraid. She has her father stubborn and fiery expression plastered on her youthful face, making Chris homesick, Toby-sick. For a sixteen year's old girl, she surely have balls.

 

_Toby. You'll be so proud._

 

Too much like her father in fact, so that when he takes the phone, Chris can't stop his own hand to tremble. From her thick wavy blond hair (even with the bad half pink dye job) to her pale blue eyes under golden eyebrow (bad smoky make up here too), from her slim but compact body (clad in filthy punk clothing) to the way she licks her lips ( _black lipstick ugh)_ worriedly, there is not a single thing in her that doesn't scream Tobias Beecher to him.

 

And again and again it's just like this day. The day he tried to end it all, and just managed to screw up one more time and destroyed the only good and pure thing in his life. A fucking final knife in his heart. Chris can still feel Beecher's strong hands around his shoulders as he stops him from falling past the guardrail, still remembered how desperate he felt, the idea of living without him, the brief fight who had followed and then a little push. Just enough for Beecher to trip. To fall. To die. Light fading from the brightest eyes he ever saw still haunting his dreams. 

 

"I'm Holly Beecher."

"I know who you are."

"Oh... I thought... Well. I don't know what I thought I guess." She shrugs like Beecher used to. So much. Too fucking much.

 

_For fuck sake you fuckin' retard, don't you spoils this. Not again!_

 

He needs to be strong, to _man up_ like his mother used to say. If he's unable to do so right the fuck now, he might just have to lay down and die. And it's not really a choice here because Chris is a lot of things, and a survivor is one of them.

So he takes a deep breath. Squared his shoulder, bombed his torso and put his game face on. 

 

"What are you doing here? Hum? How did you get here anyway?

"Uh. I take the bus.

“Ah, and the paperwork?

“Harry... My brother. He's good with this kind of things... You can do anything with a computer anyway.

 

_Ah, kids this days. All little genius. Especially yours._

 

"Does your uncle knows you're here?"

"I'm seventeen you know." She scowls, vexed.

Chris keeps his smirk in check at this. 

 

_Seventeen hum?_

 

Not even a full month in her sixteenth, most likely. 

Even if he wasn't the practiced liar he is, she wouldn’t be able to foul him. Because he _knows_ her. Everything about her. And about Harry of course. Even if she's his little favorite. Harry looks a bit too much like the poor dead wife (whatever her name was) growing up. Still, from their birthday to the inside of their rooms at Angus Beecher's house, he knows every fucking things to know about them. 

It's not that difficult really. He is still in contact with a lot of people from outside, people like him. People who don't have moral problems about a little stalking in exchange of some monthly cash. He doesn't see a better way to spend all the money O'Reily and him makes from the drugs and cons (beside little gift for Bonnie of course).

 

_It's not stalking anyway. It's more like... watching..._

 

Yep, Chris is only watching for his own. After all they are Beecher's, and Beecher was his so it's only the logical conclusion for him to take care of them. 

To make disappear the arrogant joke who thought he could date Holly a few time before she put out and bragged about it in front of all his jerks friends, making her cry or to tamper with the brakes of the car of some of the players from Harry's baseball team so he could be titular in his first High-school year. It's not stalking, having numerous pictures and weekly reports carefully hidden in the pod he and O'Reily share in New Em City, it's staying updated. 

 

_See Toby? I'm protecting them. Me. Fuckin' ME._

 

Holly licks her lips again, taking almost all of the awful lipstick off, visibly weird out by his silence. Chris's dick jump a bit at the sight of pink lips and velvet tongue and his heart stop for an instant. The revelation is almost unbearable. 

She's not just a _name_ on paper, or in Beecher's mouth, or a photo. She's real. Tangible. Like Toby was. If they were in the open visiting room, he could touch her. Smell her. Will she smells as much like Beecher as she looks?

The thought immediately elicit a memory from him. Delicious and precious from the sacred nights in their pod, after mind-blowing sex, when he held a sated, warm and pliant Toby in his arm. Too rare moments of peace, when Chris let himself being lulled to sleep by Toby's voice. Even when he was babbling about religious or moral nonsense, which was often, Chris just loved hearing him talk. Luckily, it was one thing Toby was really fond of, talking.

"Holly smell like strawberry. It's her shampoo I think. She's a real girl you know. Pink stuff, dresses, bow in her hair, glittering shoes and shiny jewelries... She loves this kind of thing." had said Beecher, his nose buried in his neck, nuzzling.

"Is there any kind of girl who aren't real?" Chris had replied, laughing.

"Moron. You know what I mean." 

And of course he had known. 

Chris himself is always slightly amaze when Bonnie or Angelique comes to see him, smelling so good, so flowery, looking so... Girly. Red or pink wet lipstick, carefully made hairstyles and his favorite, the stilettos. When spending so much time with men, or woman looking and smelling like men in her hack uniform, it was slightly dizzying to see a woman from the outside. It was like they were another species. So utterly different, out of space. 

 

Chris looked at Holly again, letting the bright memory fade away. It was back then when he thought he could understand Beecher, even a little. 

He doesn't dwell on it though. It belongs to the past and Chris is a right now kind of guy. 

He lost his sacred place, his god's gift. Screwed up his redemption like the piece of shit he always knew he was (still is as far as he knows), but there she is, pure, unspoiled, sacred, Madonna like, Holly Beecher. Even with this ugly rebel teenage looks (who let her out with skull earring and unwashed clothes really?), she still _is_ Toby made woman. And here just for him. Well not just for him. Not today. But that day will come. And this time, he wasn't going to screw it up. This time, he will make it right.

 

So, Chris plasters his most seductive (but armless) smile on his face, the kind of boyish smile he knows work every fucking time and say.

"You look just like your father, Holly."

 

She lift her head quickly, her pale eyes shines and she licks her lips _again_.

 

_You're mine baby. All mine. Never let you go again. Not this time. Not fucking ever._

 

 

 

 


End file.
